What Is “Healthy,” Really? Reclaiming a Word That Feels So Heavy
Somewhere along the way, the word healthy got a reputation.
For some people, it feels inspiring.
For others, it feels intimidating.
And for many, it feels triggering—tied to pressure, perfection, shame, and expectations they can’t keep up with.
But here’s the truth: health itself isn’t the problem. The mindset around health is.
Health behaviors like nourishing your body, going to the gym, strength training, meal planning, or following a structured nutrition plan can absolutely be healthy.
They become unhealthy only when they’re wrapped in rigidity, self-criticism, fear, or the belief that you have to be perfect to be “doing it right.”
Let’s take the weight off this word and make it something that supports you instead of shames you.
My Definition of Healthy
Healthy = making flexible, value-aligned decisions that support your well-being without significant distress.
Not punishment.
Not perfection.
Not “earn your worth through discipline.”
Not “never miss a workout or you’ve failed.”
Side Note: Failure isn’t the enemy — it’s actually part of the process.
It gives you data, builds resilience, and teaches you how to pivot with compassion instead of judgment.
Check back next week for a deeper dive into why failure is not a bad thing and how it can actually support your growth.
Healthy is a mindset first, behaviors second.
Healthy is choosing the things you know will make you feel better, support your body, regulate your nervous system, or move you closer to your goals — and doing all of that without judgment or shame.
Why Dieting & Working Out Can Absolutely Be Healthy
Dieting, lifting, running, meal planning, macros, walking, pilates — all of these are beautiful, intentional behaviors when they come from a healthy mindset.
A healthy mindset around health looks like:
“I’m choosing this because it aligns with my goals.”
“This makes me feel good long-term.”
“I can adjust my plan without guilt.”
“My health choices are here to support me, not punish me.”
“Rest is part of the plan, not a failure.”
“I can hold myself accountable without shaming myself.”
An unhealthy mindset looks like:
“I missed the gym so I’m a failure.”
“If I can’t do it perfectly, I might as well do nothing.”
“I have to earn my food.”
“I’m only disciplined if I push through pain.”
“I feel guilty when I rest.”
“Health only counts if it looks a certain way.”
The behavior isn’t the issue.
The pressure is.
Health Is Multifaceted (and You Don’t Have to Master All of It at Once)
Here are the five foundational facets I use in therapy when helping clients build a healthy, flexible, sustainable routine:
1. Nourish Your Body
Food is fuel, yes.
But also: food is comfort, connection, culture, pleasure, and survival.
Nourishment is about:
Eating enough
Eating regularly
Providing energy
Supporting hormones
Preventing burnout
Reducing distress around eating
Nourishment is not a moral scorecard.
2. Move Your Body
Movement doesn’t have to look like just workouts, gym memberships, or “beast mode.”
Movement can also be:
Stretching
Walking your dog
Dancing in your kitchen
Cleaning your room
Movement supports the body, the mind, trauma processing, and emotional release. Healthy movement is motivated by care, not by punishment.
3. Rest Your Body
Sleep is health.
Rest is health.
Stillness is health.
Signs you need rest are not failures—they are biological signals of safety and survival strategies.
Your body is not lazy; it is communicating.
Your body literally cannot heal or grow without rest — including muscle recovery.
4. Support Your Nervous System
A truly healthy body is a body that feels safe.
That means regularly helping your nervous system access the parasympathetic state (your “rest and digest” mode).
This might look like:
Deep breathing
Grounding exercises
Slow mornings
Being around safe people
Feeling emotionally seen
Lowering chronic stress
Spending time outdoors
Your body isn’t meant to live in fight-or-flight.
5. Emotional Flexibility
This is the heart of my definition.
It’s being able to shift plans, adjust expectations, and practice self-compassion when life doesn’t go “perfectly.”
Your health doesn’t need to collapse the moment your schedule changes, you miss a workout, or you eat something unplanned. That’s rigidity — not health.
Emotional flexibility means:
Allowing multiple truths
Not collapsing under change
Tolerating discomfort
Pivoting when needed
Letting go of “all or nothing” thinking
Rigid health is fragile.
Flexible health is sustainable.
Value-Aligned Decisions: The Heart of Healthy Mindset
In therapy, I teach clients to make decisions based on:
their values
their long-term goals
what genuinely makes them feel better
what reduces distress
what strengthens their mind-body connection
Not guilt.
Not pressure.
Not fear.
Healthy isn’t a performance.
Healthy is a relationship with yourself.
If you can do health behaviors — eating, moving, sleeping, resting — without shaming yourself or demanding perfection…
You’re already healthy.
Final Takeaway
“Healthy” doesn’t need to be scary.
It doesn’t need to feel like a test.
It doesn’t need to be associated with shame.
Being healthy is making compassionate, flexible choices that support your well-being — physically, mentally, emotionally, and biologically.
You don’t have to do it perfectly.
You just have to do it with care.
If you’re ready to explore what a flexible, value-aligned approach to health could look like in your own life, I’d love to support you.
You deserve a definition of health that feels empowering—not overwhelming.
Book a consultation to get started.
